"I actually don?t know if I?ve ever had an original idea or not.."

"Formula One is the truest form of 'competition', in the Microsoft sense of the word if you know what I mean..."

"Sexual gymnasts? ..me prancing around the room naked with that gymnastic ribbon dance thing flailing around..."

Over the past couple of months Frank Paynter has carved out a name for himself by pioneering a new style of interview. This reputation has been well earned with a series of insightful and revealing interviews. Unfortunately for Frank, he made a big mistake last week by asking me to be his subject for this week's interview.

Avert your eyes.