SPAM email would be much more fun, and effective, if only they'd put some thought and creativity into those subject headings. Just because it doesn't cost you a bean to send 5 bajillion emails out every half hour doesn't mean that you can afford to spend absolutely no time and energy maximising the message, a classic case of valueless exercise for all concerned.

If spammers approached every message with the same degree of attention to detail and quest for perfection as they would if they were writing a simple, short message that would be read one time only, by the whole world simultaneously for a total of 10 seconds, then the quality of writing - and possibly the effectiveness - would be much higher.

Then there's the names they make up, possibly working on the probability of someone by the name of "Brad Silverman" is known to about 100 people on average - I don't know if 100 is the average, I just made it up to support my theory - and if you send 1,000,000 emails from purportedly from Brad, then you'll eventually hit upon someone who (a) knows a guy called Brad Silverman who (b) has failed to reply to a message from Brad Silverman in the last few days and would therefore open up the email. I don't know what the Law of Spam is but there must be a way to work it out. Something like

am + (em * q)
n =