Muhahaha. My plans for world domination are progressing nicely. I've been trying to fire up this blog for months by tugging at idea after idea until the engine finally kicked into life last week and its now buzzing away at 1,000 - 1,500 visitors a day and now I see Blogger's home page also deems it worthy to list me. Now I have the rabid attention I have craved for so long, it is time to move on to the second stage of my evil plan. More of that later once the sharkpool construction is complete. But I'm pleased to report that my mailbag has improved somewhat over the past week. Take this specimen;

Yes, so Mr. Turner. It would behoove you to make a mention of the blog in question simply because time is of the essence and bird's often shit only on the lucky ones. So have a look see. And JESUS CHRIST stop wasting your time f**king small monkeys?

Plus if you?re LUCKY, I'll say something all sweet about your blog so you can let everyone know! You see because I really do like the sticker thing and I just love the .......... well you'll have to wait for the good stuff....

http://www.JeremysProphecy.com/blog/notes/author.shtml

Hmm. He sounds like he might make a good number two. Make a mental note.

The Healing Power Of Love

Marek J models himself on me (above). He doesn't know it but he does. Word has travelled from his hospital bed and the word was good. Hope.

"Wake Up Motherf**kers!!!"said Mr J from his hospital bed yesterday.

CollageBoy

To Mr Chrispher Locke, c/o RageBoy, Mork & Mindy's Old Place, Boulder, Colorada, USA.

Your Supreme Rageness

Firstly, many thanks for your faux Scottish/Irish voicemail intro - is there no bound to your talent? I've forwarded the recording to a declining Scottish brewery advertising department head who will be in touch with your agent directly.

What news of your wretched collage? it is done, sah. I trust it will meet with your approval. Marek sent me an esp-formatted, sublimo-mail from his hospital bed asking me to "use the force" and make his contribution by proxy. For two hours tonight I held my hand barely over my mouse on my latest invention, a ouija mouse-pad, slowy etching out his message through the ether. Either that or I picked up some ancient 1970's transmissions from Radio Luxembourg recently bounced back from Aplha Centauri and spent the evening incorrectly decoding Abba's 'Fernando' by mistake.

More words are pointless. A picture is worth more.

http://www.garyturner.net/collage.html

So, well done to everyone involved, it was good fun creating something together. But the top-level purpose of this activity was to send a message of support and love to Christopher Locke, to selfishly needle the old bastard into a comeback.

Lets hope.

"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good." -Vaclav Havel

respect.
gary

Alas

I knew I had really arrived* when Mr Paynter sent me a load of questions the other day. I've already fired back a coupla thousand words of the finest 'pish' you could imagine. Come Wednesay, you won't have to imagine any longer.

*My new car has sat-nav. Every time I go somwhere I get a sultry female voice talking to me every step of the way. But the best part is when you reach your destination and she says "You have arrived." Believe me, this is better than any top-dollar psychotherapy you could wish for.

My cat just puked. I'm blogging among the flora and fauna again. It's a sunny saturday morning, gentle breeze, parasol. Iced coffee. Bliss.

I must leave you now, Mr Paynter's piles are getting bigger and we can't have that now, can we?