Tonight At Eight On MLOD....
"We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? [Holds up prize.] Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired." Glengarry Glen Ross, 1992.
But first this,
I've developed an equation to calculate which supermarket checkout queue (line) you should join if you are in a hurry and the store's busy.
The key factors are:
L, the length of the queue.
Scoring : 1 point per person ahead of you.
I, the average amount of items per person per queue
Scoring : Hand basket = 1, Half trolley load = 2, mountainous trolley load =4 and two trolleys = 8
S, the apparent skill / attitude of the cashier, you can always tell the juniors or the ones who don't give a shit.
Scoring : First day on the job with another member of staff onlooking, 8. First day on the job, solo = 9, grumpy bag who's in the middle of a messy divorce = 6, young buck who just enjoys his job far too much = 1.
C, the circumstances of the individuals in the queue, old lady who takes an age to find exact change, young mother with 2 or more noisy kids who need keeping in check while she packs enough food to feed a football team for a fortnight, the businessman who has no cash and wants to pay for a pint of milk with his mastercard, the jinxed kind of person who always causes the till roll to run out just as their turn comes up or who picks obscure products which have no price ticket on them and he's the first person of the day to discover that time swallowing fact, or indeed the kind of pathologically insane person who's sole aim in life is to find unmarked items simply for the rush of attention they get in causing a store-wide tannoy call out for some junior member of staff to find the price, people who look forgetful and suddenly realise they've forgotten that all important tin of organic long-life bean-curd etc. etc.
Scoring : Complicated, so use your own discretion.
And finally T, the calculated amount of time it will take for your queue to run down.
Apportion values between 1 to 10 for each of L, I, S & C.
T is the sum of all of the above factors and the lower result the quicker the line will go down, therefore you can determine which queue you should join. Who knows, you could save at least 15 seconds.
Is it obvious that I was standing in line for quite a while this lunchtime?
"We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? [Holds up prize.] Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired." Glengarry Glen Ross, 1992.
But first this,
I've developed an equation to calculate which supermarket checkout queue (line) you should join if you are in a hurry and the store's busy.
The key factors are:
L, the length of the queue.
Scoring : 1 point per person ahead of you.
I, the average amount of items per person per queue
Scoring : Hand basket = 1, Half trolley load = 2, mountainous trolley load =4 and two trolleys = 8
S, the apparent skill / attitude of the cashier, you can always tell the juniors or the ones who don't give a shit.
Scoring : First day on the job with another member of staff onlooking, 8. First day on the job, solo = 9, grumpy bag who's in the middle of a messy divorce = 6, young buck who just enjoys his job far too much = 1.
C, the circumstances of the individuals in the queue, old lady who takes an age to find exact change, young mother with 2 or more noisy kids who need keeping in check while she packs enough food to feed a football team for a fortnight, the businessman who has no cash and wants to pay for a pint of milk with his mastercard, the jinxed kind of person who always causes the till roll to run out just as their turn comes up or who picks obscure products which have no price ticket on them and he's the first person of the day to discover that time swallowing fact, or indeed the kind of pathologically insane person who's sole aim in life is to find unmarked items simply for the rush of attention they get in causing a store-wide tannoy call out for some junior member of staff to find the price, people who look forgetful and suddenly realise they've forgotten that all important tin of organic long-life bean-curd etc. etc.
Scoring : Complicated, so use your own discretion.
And finally T, the calculated amount of time it will take for your queue to run down.
Apportion values between 1 to 10 for each of L, I, S & C.
T is the sum of all of the above factors and the lower result the quicker the line will go down, therefore you can determine which queue you should join. Who knows, you could save at least 15 seconds.
Is it obvious that I was standing in line for quite a while this lunchtime?